Thanksgiving was two days ago. As always, I am thankful for everything in my life. Family, Friends, skiing and health most importantly, but I have a huge list that I tucked away in my room somewhere. Anyways, I've done a lot of description thus far on this little experiment called a blog, and a lot of it has been about things that I am thankful for. So, now is a description of what is happening to me.
My head constantly hurts. I have a concussion, which sucks, and I haven't taken care of it very well. But neither did my idiot of a roommate, who screamed at every chance she got for the one day that I was injured in Colorado, and then berated me for getting on my computer to try and answer an email pertaining to my head, then complained that I was being "unreasonable and selfish" when I asked her to quiet down a tad bit at three o'clock in the morning, then shouted F YOU as loud as she could at me. My other roommates actually tried to make me feel better. Thanks Becca for making me get away from the screen because you didn't want my head to hurt. Thanks Ali for not getting angry when I went to bed at 8 pm, just quietly going to bed. Thanks Tarrah for producing a smile when you asked me if my head hurt and I said like a b word. Actually, I don't have any thanks to give to Kara, you were kinda mean too, even if it wasn't as obvious as Isobel. Anyways, I can't sleep, I'm way behind on my homework and will most definitely be for the remainder of the time I'm in school until Christmas break, in three weeks. And I feel sick, and there's a party at my house tonight. Joy. And I haven't skied in a week and I'm beginning to go stir crazy.
Ah. Much better. Now that I look back on this little paragraph I've written, I feel a bit selfish. I just needed to rant. My life really isn't that bad. Pretend that wasn't me.
Because it wasn't. RIGHT?
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Room to Grow
Okay, I know I talk a lot about life. And even though it's a miniscule number of people that actually read this blog, (hi Christine), I am sorry. But life is such a big topic, and one that doesn't even end until you do. Anyways.
Recently listening to Lana del Rey, as in right now, which is always quite destructive, but whatever, i started thinking about life, yet again. I do this really crazy thing, this really crazy sport, almost every single day. And even on the really bad days when even Cindy knows that something is really wrong with me, and i condemn Dave to hell on a chairlift, and almost break down to Ellie B. of all people, i know next day I'll be right back at the top of the hill. This thing I do isn't easy. Only about the top 5% of people even make it to the elite level, and even then you might not do well. But, here I am, trying day after day after day, and getting really frustrated. It will most likely make me a better person in the end, but sometimes it just really fucking sucks. Pardon my french.
Today was not a sucky day. Today was a beautiful conglomeration of sun, snow, music, skiing, and Kara. Run after run, we sat on the chairlift at Copper Mountain, and sang, every single run, in between ripping down the five second trail, not ever stopping, seeing who could get more air at the very end. I skied well, I got sunburned, and I reaffirmed the love for this sport that has been missing for a day or two. And I reaffirmed that feeling, the feeling of being free, just by stepping onto a pair of skis.
So while I really am crazy, and while what I do is crazy, those days when everything goes right SO make up for the days that suck so badly. I am in love with this, I am in love with every aspect of it, even the tuning. I don't ever want to stop. At least for now.
"I may be crazy, but I am free."
Recently listening to Lana del Rey, as in right now, which is always quite destructive, but whatever, i started thinking about life, yet again. I do this really crazy thing, this really crazy sport, almost every single day. And even on the really bad days when even Cindy knows that something is really wrong with me, and i condemn Dave to hell on a chairlift, and almost break down to Ellie B. of all people, i know next day I'll be right back at the top of the hill. This thing I do isn't easy. Only about the top 5% of people even make it to the elite level, and even then you might not do well. But, here I am, trying day after day after day, and getting really frustrated. It will most likely make me a better person in the end, but sometimes it just really fucking sucks. Pardon my french.
Today was not a sucky day. Today was a beautiful conglomeration of sun, snow, music, skiing, and Kara. Run after run, we sat on the chairlift at Copper Mountain, and sang, every single run, in between ripping down the five second trail, not ever stopping, seeing who could get more air at the very end. I skied well, I got sunburned, and I reaffirmed the love for this sport that has been missing for a day or two. And I reaffirmed that feeling, the feeling of being free, just by stepping onto a pair of skis.
So while I really am crazy, and while what I do is crazy, those days when everything goes right SO make up for the days that suck so badly. I am in love with this, I am in love with every aspect of it, even the tuning. I don't ever want to stop. At least for now.
"I may be crazy, but I am free."
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Waiting
Life is funny. Sometimes it goes so fast, and seems impossible. Sometimes the minutes, the seconds drag by so slowly it's as if no time has ever passed. Sometimes you can hear each and every single tear pitter patter on the ground. Sometimes life is unbelievably good to you, and sometimes life is just that- full of life. It still seems as though i'm waiting for my life to start in earnest. Sure there was the whole teenager awakening nonsense, and I am certainly a credible person, who has these crazy thoughts, and ideas. I'm a person who is every bit as real as you are to you, but my life hasn't even begun.
Someday I'll be all big and grown, I hope. I'll know the answers to all these strange things that my mind ponders, and my life will have, as Alice loves to remind me, perspective. But for now, i guess i'll just have to wait for the nonsense and wonder of my very own life to begin. It's like i'm holding a big pink ball of energy, of things that could be in my hands, and that soon it will just explode and i'll be immersed, lying under it as I do stars, and i won't be able to do anything but smile. I hope that day comes soon. Until then, I'll be waiting.
"Now all the stars have gone
Faded into cracks of dawn
And I'm still waiting here
Waiting for you to come home"
Someday I'll be all big and grown, I hope. I'll know the answers to all these strange things that my mind ponders, and my life will have, as Alice loves to remind me, perspective. But for now, i guess i'll just have to wait for the nonsense and wonder of my very own life to begin. It's like i'm holding a big pink ball of energy, of things that could be in my hands, and that soon it will just explode and i'll be immersed, lying under it as I do stars, and i won't be able to do anything but smile. I hope that day comes soon. Until then, I'll be waiting.
"Now all the stars have gone
Faded into cracks of dawn
And I'm still waiting here
Waiting for you to come home"
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