Alright, I did say I was going to stop blogging for a while, then immediately thought of a million good things to write about. The answer to this dilemma is simple- if you don't like what I've written, don't tell me. I don't want to hear it because, to reiterate an earlier point that was made, this is my blog, which means it is about me, which means that whatever I want to put on here is allowed to reflect my opinion and nobody is allowed to tell me it is or is not correct. Unless you want to tell me of my obvious literary genius, or the way a certain post made you think, don't tell me anything. And I'm sorry if this is a bit harsh and annoying and just generally egotistical, but this is kind of the way it has to be.
Moving on.
I am a victim of the four o'clock slump, complete with hunger pains. It's effects have steadily worsened for the past few weeks. It is unbearable.
My parents told me they were really glad I was finally in a good place. I told them I was also glad, and that I loved them.
After a particularly long car ride conversation with my dad, he said, "Katy, I know it isn't your job to make me happy, but you really have. Maybe you can go back on that later in life." My response? "Amen."
Goodnight moon is my new favorite book.
"But last night I looked up into
the dark half of the blue,
and they'd gone backwards."
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Plans are silly. Because frankly, life doesn't give a shit about your plans. Hell, other people don't even give a shit about your plans. You know when you're little and your parents ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and the response is usually like, a space princess, or the president? Never happens. Ever.
And its kind of sad that we're taught to shoot so high, and usually fall so far from the expectations placed upon us. I mean, I want to say I blame my parents for the obsessive need I have to always be right. And I do blame them, but I can't really be mad at them for wanting the best for me. Both of my parents came from rough beginnings, and I understand why they parent the way they do. And I love the hell out of both of them, no matter how mad I get at them. And trust me, I wish they'd done a lot of things differently with me, so that I would be different. And I know thats a cop out, but they were my two biggest influences.
Its hard to be really mad at them though, because they really do love me and they really do a lot for me. And they're also kind of awesome. They come powder skiing with me and I get to do a lot of fun and dangerous and exciting things with them that most people don't do with their parents, so I'm glad for that. But I'm sad that they want so much for me, and I probably won't meet their expectations. I mean, I might, I might not. But I still think its sad, in general, that they want me to rule the world, and I probably won't end up doing that.
I'm not limiting myself, don't get me wrong. It isn't like I have no hope for myself, I just wish to be realistic with my expectations on what is going to happen to me. I'd rather be happy with myself, even surprised with myself, rather than disappointed.
But I wanted to be the first woman president when I was little. I wanted to be an astronaut, I wanted to be a genius. I wanted to be a movie star, a singer and a cowgirl all rolled into one. And its great that I was so ambitious, but sad because your childhood dreams probably won't come true. Most people don't end up where they think they will.
And who knows, maybe I will be a princess or a cowgirl, or even the president one day. The likelihood isn't very high though.
And I'm alright with that. I'm perfectly fine with that.
"Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world"
And its kind of sad that we're taught to shoot so high, and usually fall so far from the expectations placed upon us. I mean, I want to say I blame my parents for the obsessive need I have to always be right. And I do blame them, but I can't really be mad at them for wanting the best for me. Both of my parents came from rough beginnings, and I understand why they parent the way they do. And I love the hell out of both of them, no matter how mad I get at them. And trust me, I wish they'd done a lot of things differently with me, so that I would be different. And I know thats a cop out, but they were my two biggest influences.
Its hard to be really mad at them though, because they really do love me and they really do a lot for me. And they're also kind of awesome. They come powder skiing with me and I get to do a lot of fun and dangerous and exciting things with them that most people don't do with their parents, so I'm glad for that. But I'm sad that they want so much for me, and I probably won't meet their expectations. I mean, I might, I might not. But I still think its sad, in general, that they want me to rule the world, and I probably won't end up doing that.
I'm not limiting myself, don't get me wrong. It isn't like I have no hope for myself, I just wish to be realistic with my expectations on what is going to happen to me. I'd rather be happy with myself, even surprised with myself, rather than disappointed.
But I wanted to be the first woman president when I was little. I wanted to be an astronaut, I wanted to be a genius. I wanted to be a movie star, a singer and a cowgirl all rolled into one. And its great that I was so ambitious, but sad because your childhood dreams probably won't come true. Most people don't end up where they think they will.
And who knows, maybe I will be a princess or a cowgirl, or even the president one day. The likelihood isn't very high though.
And I'm alright with that. I'm perfectly fine with that.
"Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world"
I think I'm going to take a short break from blogging, based on a few comments I've gotten on this blog. This is my blog and it's about me, however egocentric that is. It isn't about anyone else, bottom line. I think I need a little time to decide if this is something I want to continue. I know most of you won't care. Just thought I'd let those of you who do know.
Monday, February 17, 2014
All Roads Lead Home
Where I live, skiing is an integral part of life. It funds the various ski areas, which is good for us because it means we get (goddamn) tourists who pay to stay in pricey places and eat at our various establishments and shop for things nobody ever needs. In other words, its good for our economy. Little kids, as young as two, even younger in fact, are stuck on little wooden boards and told to "Just feel their way" down the mountain, are bribed with pizza and french fries for one more run. Seven year olds are given back protectors and shoved into gates, children are taught to be addicted to speed and risk and the sport itself. Daredevils put on huge, double-tipped skis and vault themselves over various objects. People throw themselves in between the trees, fly over cliffs, faceplant in fresh powder. Skiing isn't just important, skiing is life.
These past few days have been heaven, for locals and out-of-towners alike, as we got about two feet of fresh powder spread out over a few days. It was a skiers paradise, except for the lift lines. The trails were good, the moguls were soft, and the woods were finally, finally, safe to navigate. Slide brook was yours for the taking and not too many people got lost on three sisters. Huzzah!
I'm sorry, that was super lame. These past few days have been wonderful, because I've been able to repeatedly say, "Screw training, lets go get some freaking powder!" and have my friends agree with me and go ruin our already banged up twin tips on lower FIS. I've done nothing but bomb down runs and navigate my way around trees and over several cliffs and race my way down bumps. Its been the best. Their isn't another way to describe being able to live in a place where one of the most important, one of the most demanding and addictive things in your life is easily accessible. Great doesn't even begin to describe it.
Skiing has been a part of my life since I was a year and a half or so old. I learned to ski the bumps and I learned to ski the groomers and I learned to bushwhack to get to the best woods and everything in between. And although I grew up slowly but surely destroying my knees and frost-biting my toes, I grew up loving it, I grew up addicted to getting in just one more run. Now, I feel like skiing is ingrained in my bones, like it has always been there since my creation.
Now that I think about it, it probably has.
There are a lot of things in my life that are up in the air right now, but skiing is not one of them. And even on those days when I want to scream and beat Dani, Chris, Toby, Traudl and Nate in succession, and smash every piece of skiing paraphernalia I have into a million tiny pieces, I know that I will get up the next day, put on my gear, and try to make it a better day.
I have never been the best at ski racing, or even skiing for that matter. Sure, I got some medals when I was little, but everybody got medals then. Sure, I've done well at some races and done shitty at other. I've never been the best though. I've never really been the best at anything. But I'm glad that my parents forced me to go out and get any runs I could at any time, because it taught me to love. Because sure, I will never be, or have been the best. But I am more than okay with that because the love I have for this sport goes beyond doing well. The love I have for this sport goes beyond even the damn sport itself. It sinks deep into my bones, it gets into my blood stream and my lungs and my brain and the chambers in my heart. It is there, and it has always been there. Who could complain about not winning when they love something so much? The only point I'm trying to make is that I'm happy I love something enough to not care whether or not I'm good at it. The only thing that matters is just getting one more run in, just one more run in.
There are about fifty million ways to get to the mountain, about fifty million roads and shortcuts that lead to the promised land, that lead to the snow and the bumps and the woods and the cliffs and the candy and fries.
And sometimes, the only thing to do, the only thing you can do, is follow them.
"So long I'm going, going home."
Congratulations to Karen, my best friends mother, and the entire family, for kicking cancers ass. I love you guys and couldn't be happier that you've gotten over the mountain. Much love.
These past few days have been heaven, for locals and out-of-towners alike, as we got about two feet of fresh powder spread out over a few days. It was a skiers paradise, except for the lift lines. The trails were good, the moguls were soft, and the woods were finally, finally, safe to navigate. Slide brook was yours for the taking and not too many people got lost on three sisters. Huzzah!
I'm sorry, that was super lame. These past few days have been wonderful, because I've been able to repeatedly say, "Screw training, lets go get some freaking powder!" and have my friends agree with me and go ruin our already banged up twin tips on lower FIS. I've done nothing but bomb down runs and navigate my way around trees and over several cliffs and race my way down bumps. Its been the best. Their isn't another way to describe being able to live in a place where one of the most important, one of the most demanding and addictive things in your life is easily accessible. Great doesn't even begin to describe it.
Skiing has been a part of my life since I was a year and a half or so old. I learned to ski the bumps and I learned to ski the groomers and I learned to bushwhack to get to the best woods and everything in between. And although I grew up slowly but surely destroying my knees and frost-biting my toes, I grew up loving it, I grew up addicted to getting in just one more run. Now, I feel like skiing is ingrained in my bones, like it has always been there since my creation.
Now that I think about it, it probably has.
There are a lot of things in my life that are up in the air right now, but skiing is not one of them. And even on those days when I want to scream and beat Dani, Chris, Toby, Traudl and Nate in succession, and smash every piece of skiing paraphernalia I have into a million tiny pieces, I know that I will get up the next day, put on my gear, and try to make it a better day.
I have never been the best at ski racing, or even skiing for that matter. Sure, I got some medals when I was little, but everybody got medals then. Sure, I've done well at some races and done shitty at other. I've never been the best though. I've never really been the best at anything. But I'm glad that my parents forced me to go out and get any runs I could at any time, because it taught me to love. Because sure, I will never be, or have been the best. But I am more than okay with that because the love I have for this sport goes beyond doing well. The love I have for this sport goes beyond even the damn sport itself. It sinks deep into my bones, it gets into my blood stream and my lungs and my brain and the chambers in my heart. It is there, and it has always been there. Who could complain about not winning when they love something so much? The only point I'm trying to make is that I'm happy I love something enough to not care whether or not I'm good at it. The only thing that matters is just getting one more run in, just one more run in.
There are about fifty million ways to get to the mountain, about fifty million roads and shortcuts that lead to the promised land, that lead to the snow and the bumps and the woods and the cliffs and the candy and fries.
And sometimes, the only thing to do, the only thing you can do, is follow them.
"So long I'm going, going home."
Congratulations to Karen, my best friends mother, and the entire family, for kicking cancers ass. I love you guys and couldn't be happier that you've gotten over the mountain. Much love.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Quotes of the Week
"I don't like it when you leave. Please don't leave again."
"If I didn't leave, I wouldn't ever be reminded of how much I miss you when I'm gone!"-anonymous
"Kid, whatever you need, I'm your guy."-anonymous
"This is a beautiful, fucked up existence and we are all just hanging on for dear life because- what the hell else can we do?"-anonymous and myself (this was a collaborative experience)
"I do what I want. When I want."
"last I checked the VT flag is blue"
"Last I checked YOUR FACE IS BLUE"
"Yes and its beautiful"
"Lets not get ahead of ourselves."
"Good point, yours is not blue and beautiful."
"Only half of that sentence is true."
"Okay, sometimes its blue."
-Mine and Kara's text conversation
Final Quote of the week:
Nate-"Its all good, do what you want."
We both look at each other and then burst into song
Both of us-"Do what you want what you want with your bodyyy."
Complete with fist pumping and dancing.
I just about died.
Not much else to report on.
"I see problems down the line
I know they’re not mine.
Don't wash the dirt off of your hands.
You're doing the same mistake twice.
Making the same mistake twice."
"If I didn't leave, I wouldn't ever be reminded of how much I miss you when I'm gone!"-anonymous
"Kid, whatever you need, I'm your guy."-anonymous
"This is a beautiful, fucked up existence and we are all just hanging on for dear life because- what the hell else can we do?"-anonymous and myself (this was a collaborative experience)
"I do what I want. When I want."
"last I checked the VT flag is blue"
"Last I checked YOUR FACE IS BLUE"
"Yes and its beautiful"
"Lets not get ahead of ourselves."
"Good point, yours is not blue and beautiful."
"Only half of that sentence is true."
"Okay, sometimes its blue."
-Mine and Kara's text conversation
Final Quote of the week:
Nate-"Its all good, do what you want."
We both look at each other and then burst into song
Both of us-"Do what you want what you want with your bodyyy."
Complete with fist pumping and dancing.
I just about died.
Not much else to report on.
"I see problems down the line
I know they’re not mine.
Don't wash the dirt off of your hands.
You're doing the same mistake twice.
Making the same mistake twice."
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