Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Plans are silly. Because frankly, life doesn't give a shit about your plans. Hell, other people don't even give a shit about your plans.  You know when you're little and your parents ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and the response is usually like, a space princess, or the president?  Never happens.  Ever.

And its kind of sad that we're taught to shoot so high, and usually fall so far from the expectations placed upon us.  I mean, I want to say I blame my parents for the obsessive need I have to always be right.  And I do blame them, but I can't really be mad at them for wanting the best for me.  Both of my parents came from rough beginnings, and I understand why they parent the way they do.  And I love the hell out of both of them, no matter how mad I get at them.  And trust me, I wish they'd done a lot of things differently with me, so that I would be different.  And I know thats a cop out, but they were my two biggest influences.

Its hard to be really mad at them though, because they really do love me and they really do a lot for me.  And they're also kind of awesome.  They come powder skiing with me and I get to do a lot of fun and dangerous and exciting things with them that most people don't do with their parents, so I'm glad for that.  But I'm sad that they want so much for me, and I probably won't meet their expectations. I mean, I might, I might not.  But I still think its sad, in general, that they want me to rule the world, and I probably won't end up doing that.

I'm not limiting myself, don't get me wrong.  It isn't like I have no hope for myself, I just wish to be realistic with my expectations on what is going to happen to me.  I'd rather be happy with myself, even surprised with myself, rather than disappointed.

But I wanted to be the first woman president when I was little.  I wanted to be an astronaut, I wanted to be a genius.  I wanted to be a movie star, a singer and a cowgirl all rolled into one.  And its great that I was so ambitious, but sad because your childhood dreams probably won't come true.  Most people don't end up where they think they will.

And who knows, maybe I will be a princess or a cowgirl, or even the president one day.  The likelihood isn't very high though.

And I'm alright with that.  I'm perfectly fine with that.

"Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world"

I think I'm going to take a short break from blogging, based on a few comments I've gotten on this blog. This is my blog and it's about me, however egocentric that is.  It isn't about anyone else, bottom line.  I think I need a little time to decide if this is something I want to continue.  I know most of you won't care.  Just thought I'd let those of you who do know.