Its That Kind of Week

"Catholics are Cool
Stay in school
Wicky Wicky Waaaa
Pope Francis OUT."-Dave Goodwin.

"Hey the Pope should be a Girls on the Run coach!"-Rachel

 "If you tell me, I've already forgotten. Its been that kind of week."-Anonymous

I am eating bread and butter for dinner. I make no apologies.

Sunburns and Tuxedos

"Rob you know you aren't supposed to do that."
"I make my own rules."-My dad

"I missed you so much I think I died."
"You appear to be alive dear."
"Interesting."-Meredith

"What am I going to do without you..? WHO WILL I GO FULL TRIP WITH????"
"Aw kreeky you'll be ok!"
"WAAAAH"-Another text conversation with Kara

I went shopping with my friends today, after getting back from my family's vacation at five am.  The shopping I elected to do over school.  I was chastised for eating only a salad and some yogurt.

 I also learned that boys apparently have an unhealthy obsession with gold accessories.  Or at least one of them does.

"this is a happy end, cause you don't understand everything that you've done.
This is a happy end, come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away."

Its raining. I miss Playa Del Carmen.

Thought That Was An Earthquake

Quotes of the Week:

"I <3 NY.  But..Why?"-my mother

"I shaved half my head, so what, I love it."
"Well, frankly, I don't like it."
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."-Alex and my Nana

"You know, I just thought Swarthmore was much too preppy for me."-Daniel, in his button up shirt, impeccably matched to the blazer he was wearing and his polished oxford shoes. Too preppy my ass.

"Do these glasses make me look fast?"
"Fast is not the word I would use."
"Well what word would you use."
"Idiotic grandmother is what I was thinking?"
I then look at Daniel and Alex and mock gasp
"What? You asked."-Cousin chats

"Well, I was angry at my parents."
"Yeah so I figured it would be a good time for cake."
"And the roses probably helped as well."
"Katy, roses always help."-Meredith, Markus and Myself

I'm still in shock from the kick-ass week I've had, tomorrow is my birthday and on Saturday I will be on a plane to Mexico.

"`Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright alright alright"

Dearest

For someone who knows who they are who I shall not name:
Happy birthday! A while back I promised I would write about you, and although I am a mere fifteen minutes late, I can explain. This is neither the time or the place for that.

Sweetheart, happy birthday.
You are a kind and loving soul, who hides how tough she is inside a cloaking of pure happiness.  Your ability to be positive astounds me, the fact that you never let me bullshit you gives me the utmost respect for you, and the fact that we are both the only curly haired girls at school gives me hope for the future of my hair. I can only aspire to care for my hair as lovingly as you care for yours.

I hope I've never been really mean to you, although I know I have. And I know we fight a lot but I think it's because we can't stand when we know the other isn't giving something their all. And I know our fighting sucks but it reminds me of how much I love you. Because while we are fighting, the only thing I can think of is, "shit how do I make this right shit I love her too much for this shitt."

I worry about you and I aspire to be you and I want your manatee who doesn't eat people and whose name is sushi. I hope you know that when you sing frozen it makes me love you even more, even when I say I hate it. I hope you know that the fact that you love Disney princesses makes me turn into jelly on the inside. I hope you know your golden ringlets remind me of the sun. I hope you know you are one of the strongest and most intelligent people I've ever met. I hope you know that any college will be more than lucky to have you. I hope you know that no matter what people say, you are better than every single fucking one of them. I hope you realize how awesome and amazing and versatile and intelligent and just beautiful you are. I hope you are able to give the universe one huge middle finger one day and say, "ha, I've done what previously could not be done."

You are my chemist and my mathematician. You are my golden haired girl and my Disney lover. Felicitaciones, and I love you to the moon and back.

And yes, friend, I would like to build a snowman.
Or ride my bike around the halls.
With you.


"Dearest, you are the nearest to my heart.
Please don't ever yeah, I'm gonna treat you right
Yeah, I'm gonna treat you right."

Viewpoint is Everything

My last weekend of racing, which ended yesterday, was absolutely awful.  No other description for it. I completely and totally choked, most likely due to exhaustion, but I am not making excuses.  And I got home and was really surprised when I discovered I was perfectly alright.  I made a few new friends this weekend, played some laser tag and had some damn good pulled pork from a food truck in the middle of Maine.  I got my SAT scores back and they actually were perfectly good for taking them my first time, and my parents were proud of me.

I've been doing a lot of writing, I've been finding good ways to say goodbye to all my senior friends, I've been enjoying life.  A lot.  And sure, I had a very restless night last night due to over-exhaustion, but before my restless night a person I know was really, really, really nice to me and we had a really good heart to heart and it made me feel very satisfied with myself.  

I kept thinking, I don't deserve this, new, good life but then I was on the chairlift one day with Kara and we were singing and it was sunny and we were laughing, and I realized that I really do deserve a good life.  Everyone does, and whichever way, shape or form that life comes in is a blessing. Instead of wondering whether you are deserving, its better to appreciate, accept that your life is full of love and snow covered mountains and good food and even better people, and go out and live.

Its hard to remember that life can be good when it gets so bad, and it is even easier to get bogged down by the logistics of making your life better.  I don't think it's ever easy to make changes in the way you live your life, no matter how big or small they are.  But change is the only constant in life, and at the end of those changes life is beautiful.

Life is never what you expect, and that is the absolute beauty of it.  Because sure, you can have an extremely rough beginning of the school year, but by March/April, you'll be in the best shape you've been in in years.  At the same time, while you are busy enjoying and observing and laughing a lot, its hard to express your gratitude, or to know how to express your gratitude.  All I can do is say one massive thank you, both to the universe and everyone who I love.  

So, I'm making a toast. Here's to life, and the constant ups and downs it brings.  Here's to the blue skies and the snow covered mountains and the muddy roads and the abundant amount of love.  Here's to surviving it all, and here's to enjoying it.
(clinks metaphoric glass because author is only almost seventeen).

"Let it rain, I need a change
Thats where you'll find me,
Some place I've never been.
I'm not afraid of the darkness anymore,
I'm not afraid of the darkness anymore."


Also, if you didn't catch that at the end, my birthday is in eleven days. I better receive some kick-ass gifts. Just sayin.