Ask Alice

Things can get really rough.  I mean, for a while back there, they were really, really rough.  I mean they still kind of are, but its probably the lack of sleep that's making me crankier than anything.  But that's not the point.  The point is that life can get you into some sticky situations.  And in the movies, at the end of these sticky situations, everyone bands together and like, puts their play on, makes a movie, wins something, etc.

Wouldn't it be nice if life was just like that? If there were no monsters in heads, children only spoke when spoken to, and everything ended up with a rosy tint?  Well, the truth is, a lot of the time, it isn't going to end up that way.  Not to say that it will be bad, but nothing really ever ends up the way you expect it.  I mean, at least in my sixteen years of experience.

I watched a movie about a little girl named Phoebe who was really troubled, and the movie was really sad, but it was also really full of hope.  And I usually hate movies like that, but this one really struck a chord with me.  It dealt a lot with mental illness, which is something I think should be talked about more.  Having suffered from various forms of depression, social anxiety, among other things, I can say that I sort of understand what this kid was going through, but like, not really.

The one thing I understood was how she felt.  How awful life was, how badly she felt about every single choice she made, every single person she hurt.  When Phoebe jumped from that catwalk, I understood.  I understood that all she wanted was to go down the rabbit hole, to meet Alice and to never go back.  She just wanted everyone around her to stop getting hurt, she wanted to stop feeling so badly about everything in life.  I've been there, done that.  Haven't we all?

But at the end, Phoebe didn't need Alice, or any rabbit holes or tea parties, complete with queens and painted roses.  Phoebe needed love, and guidance.  And it didn't matter who that came from, as long as it came from someone.

And in the end, it was alright.  And it always will be, because humans were meant to keep going, no matter who dies, what diagnoses come, what people disappoint, and what things are said.  And the going gets really rough, but you kind of have to stick it out, even when you feel like pulling your nails out, laying down, and accepting death.

If you don't believe me, you should go ask Alice.  Just make sure that before you jump, theres a ladder in your rabbit hole.


"Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall."

"it's your heart, it's your life, it's pumping blood."

Everything will always turn out alright.  If it is not alright, it is not the end.