Beat Tape II

It's the difference between whole and hole.  Minute, but definitely not minute; in fact, infinitely not minute.  Or the difference between halve and have. Small things can hold a surprising amount of meaning; small things can hold too much meaning, the way you think you've only got a few books in your backpack and then it is so heavy, or the way you pretend things don't bother you, when they bother you so much.

I wonder if you're reading this in my voice; it's why I put in italics and made words bold.  The difference between my internal voice and yours is minute; but definitely not minute because with the wrong stressor, the wrong emphasis, everything changes.

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I've heard a lot of people say that, "it matters little what you say; it matters greatly what you do."  But both hold meaning.  There's this book called Everything Matters and everything does matter but in the end doesn't nothing matter and what are we even doing here?  We're fucking everything up and isn't the world ending? Finals are shitty and the world is ending and the presidential candidates have upset me and my face is breaking out and isn't everything wrong?  Read that in your best impression of an eighteen year old me, panicked college student just trying to make it through.

Everything matters.

Every thing matters.

Every. Thing. Matters. 

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I watered the plants last week, their yellowing edges started to fade,
and is it Sunday anymore?
You dealt me out a perfect 21, face and faceless card staring up
while the ring of condensation from my glass grew thicker,
and is it Sunday anymore?
Vacuum-cleaner lines were a perfect crisscross
flamingoes in the yard and elephants in the bed
of the littlest pair of feet in the house,
and is it Sunday anymore?
Coffee grinding through the old electric beast
piles of blankets now flick the fire on
spread your cold hands across my cheeks
watch the window like the sentinel you are,
and is it Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, anymore?
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"something you gave me

I focused on

A hundred moments ready drawn

Into my memory."