Let it be Me

Kids are awful.  I can't even begin to start to discuss this right now.  Because my sister is being bullied. And she's in sixth grade. She's just a baby.  That's how I think of her.  The annoying, and annoyingly smart baby of the family.  But she's our baby.  And she doesn't deserve this.  Because she's still so little, and so, so vulnerable.  And so terrifyingly small.

I'm sorry kiddo. You don't know how sorry I am.  You really don't.  So come and cuddle on the couch with me, and i'll give you cupcakes and tell you how beautiful you are.  Because I believe it. And so should you.

Because at the end of the day, that;s how i want to be remembered.  As the kid who protected her little sister, who held her on the couch and told her it was going to be okay.  Who went out and shut down anyone who tried to be mean to her.  Who was there for her.  It's the right thing to do.  And i want to do it for her, I'm more than happy to do it for her, because she deserves to be loved every single day.  And I want her to know that, more than anything else.

Last year, we had an anorexia talk with this lady at school.  A girl in our school was obviously anorexic.  This scared me, because I saw how skinny she was getting, how sunken her eyes were, how much of a ghost she looked like.  And I couldn't do anything about it.  But the part that really scared me was the talk.  Because I cried after it. When that lady came, I thought of Sophie.  And it scared me so much, because I thought what if that happens to her?  Will I just have to sit idly by and watch her starve herself to the point that she's not a person anymore?  And I don't ever want that to happen to her.

I also don't want to her to have to make a hard decision.  I don't her to grow up, because I don't want to lose that baby.  The baby that sat on the couch and watched dance moms with me, the baby that wore the blue pikachu shirt, the baby that cuddled up with her night night and monsters inc video, the baby whose eyes I looked into on the first day she was alive, the baby who i gave the purple elephant to, the baby who i whispered to and said, "You're my sister."  The baby who I love more than anything else.

Because that is the way I'll always remember her.  No matter what happens.  And I can't wait to see how she'll turn out.  Because it will be more brilliant than anything, anyone, or anybody.  And that I'm sure of.



"If it's a friend you need, let it be me, let it be me."