Yesterday my advisor, Kerry, asked me whether or not I wanted to drop my physics class because it sucks so much, and I was like, why are you asking me? Shouldn't there be somebody older handling that? Fast approaching is the day where I will have to make those kind of decisions for myself on a much larger scale, and I will be so far out of my league it isn't even funny.
Actually, that isn't true. I've made some decisions, recently, involving a certain aspect of my life that I don't really want to delve into. But it really sucked and it was the right thing to do, but it still really sucked. And I've made decisions on friends, food, clothes, classes, standing up for myself and, now that i think about it, I've been pretty independent and making decisions for myself for a really long time. I mean, I was that kid who made themselves grilled cheese and picked out their own clothes because they didn't want their mother to pick them out for them. And growing up and making grown up decisions is hard, but it will be really worth it.
But even though life is really hard, lately it feels like it couldn't get any better. I mean, I still have to worry about college and the SATs and play and my homework, but it just feels like there are all these wonderful and vivacious and just loving people around me, and that for me not to be happy is a crime. Just a straight up crime. There's good music to listen to, I have a really comfortable bed, my parents and my siblings love me, I live in the most beautiful place in the world, and my friends like me. My friends appreciate me. And yeah, there are the occasional mean girls, and for that matter guys. But it feels like I have this army of people standing behind me who understand, and who stand up for me.
The people that I cry in front of, give me hugs and then say we're going to get married one day. They people/brothers that offer to beat up awful people for me. The girls who I play contact with on our hikes, the girls whose room I spent more time in then my own room in chile. The people who watch shameless with me, who teach me how to play xbox like a true gamer, who invite me to go on their zombie runs, who give me their hats on plane trips because I express concern about the severe grossness of my hair. The people who, without fail, let me sit in their room and eat oreos and ask nothing in return. The people who set off fireworks with me, who let me hold their hands, who sing obnoxiously with me on the chairlift and tell an obscene number of jokes, dirty and otherwise.
I just really want to say thank you. You have no idea how great my life is because of you, and I have no idea how to show my thanks to you, to the world. My cheeks hurts from smiling. Life has never felt even close to this fun before. I'm having fun, I'm kind of just going with it. And I can honestly say I've never done that before because I may or may not be a bit of a control freak.
So thanks. Carry on, and I'll just keep smiling.
There's a spirit in Montana and in your chest, a soul
Oh what a soul
I love these roads where the houses don't change (and I like you)
Where we can talk like there's something to say (and I like you)
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